February 2012
224 posts
7 tags
Poor Dog..
*Dog stamps her foot on the ground*
Me to Dog: What did you do that for?
Dad: What did she do?
Me: Stamped her foot on the ground.
*Dad looks at dog*
Dad: …dick.
14 tags
The Great British Hitman.
Maxine: Apparently I’d be terrible at being a detective.
Me: What about an assassin?
Maxine: A hitman!
Me: That would be amazing. No one would suspect you.
Maxine: Just walk into a bar..-
Me: *twiddles fake moustache*
Me and Maxine: *hysterical laughter*
Maxine: Yes. *in a strange British accent, twiddles fake moustache and puts on fake top hat* I’d like a Vodka. With a...
What you said: I don't believe in god.
What they think you said: I have anal sex with the devil.